Oscar François de Jarjayes (オスカル・フランソワ・ド・ジャルジェ)
IM HERE, IM QUEER, AND IM full of existential fear
"You being you, all of you, uncensored, is a frightening and horrifying monster to a Narcissist. Because you are being real, and real people scare the shit out of Narcissists. They are not being real, they know that they are not being real, even if most of that knowledge is buried in their subconscious and they think that they are very real. They think everyone else is as fake as they are, in fact they think others are more fake than they are. They are their reference point for the world. They can’t express genuine emotions, or voice their real thoughts, and they apply this to others. They don’t actually know how to be real, and the very thought of it scares them. So when you are real and genuine, it stirs up the real person buried deep within them, and they live in fear of their real self because they don’t know who their real self is, it is unknown, and the fear of the unknown chills them to the marrow. This fear of their real self is the spur which governs their entire life, and all of their subsequent behaviour is an attempt to escape and kill this real self off, and replace it with an idealised self of their own creation.
The ultimate lesson and gift that a relationship with a Narcissist gives you is this… Be yourself, all of you."
daily sketch 241: shoujo kakumei utena
There are few other pieces of media that have had such a profound impact on my life. Even if you hate anime I recommend that everyone at least give this show a try.